Dear God, please bring him back to me

It has been a couple of days, couples of days i meant.
my soul wander off long ago, hope it will lead me to the right place

come back to this sad old place all over again
come back to this pool of nonsense that i have been through
i am still continue on typing all my negative emotions here
gather it and delete all away.

for those who has been following how the story goes.
yup, god has answered my prayer
he was back, at least for awhile
but maybe god thinks that i am not the right one who can take care of him
he sent somebody else over.
i sincerely hope that the person will bring him happiness, way more than i can able to give

i know that his friends have been thinking that i am the one who hurt him and so
nobody bother to think about how i pulled it through in the year
i ain't laughing, joking,slacking off that year, never can i do it
even time rewinds 10,000 times again
they were in absolute good intentions not letting their brother to get hurt
then who's by my side?
i was there even when everyone on earth breathing agrees that i should let go
love drives me till here, until so far, how can i do it without a heart that loves him genuinely?
you guys are so selfish, when i was trying my best, working my ass out to stay alive,
you all thought that i was so intentionally fucking your dear friend's life up
i don't love him less than you all do, even a single teeny bit.

tearing every night after he told me things won't work out anymore
after i have overcome all kinds of obstacles, approach him in agony
what i got was, he has got a new girl
fine, i have nothing to do in his life anymore
so heartbreaking but i must face the hurtful truth.

but guys, i want to keep up to my promise
i wonder how long can i last
1.5 years i have been waiting
make it 4 perhaps?
then i won't at least live with regrets
as i tried my very best to get the guy that i have been longing for in life
whom i would love to spend forever with.
I will still be praying for his safety, for his happiness
nothing beats the smile on your love ones' face
but how i wish that i was the one who make him smile
A short 4 years maybe can prove my loyalty
just that i wonder, if i can tolerate this constant 4 years of heart aching
nevermind, we'll see how things go from here.